When I was pregnant with Mason, I had no inkling whether she was a boy or girl. Most women say they have dreams or they just “know” what the sex is. People would ask me, and I would say, “Really, I have no feeling one way or the other.” So as I sat on the operating table getting pricked by an enormous needle on October 14, 2005, my doctor asked me the fateful question, “What do you think it is?” I again said that I had no clue. So she pushed me, asking, “Seriously, just guess. What do you think it is? And how much do you think it will weigh?” Out of my mouth came, “Girl. 9 pounds.”
Twenty minutes later (possibly longer since Mason was very happy way up inside my belly and had no intention of ever leaving the womb even after 41 weeks), the doctor announced, “It’s a girl!” Over to the scale she went… She came in at 8 lbs. 15 oz. They decided to round up to 9 pounds to make it easier. So there it was. Girl. 9 pounds.
I often wonder where that inkling came from. For 10 months, I couldn’t put my finger on what was inside my belly. And then in the 11th hour (really the 6,889th hour), I just blurted out “girl.” Was it just a lucky guess? Or did I have that mother’s instinct I had felt without for the entire pregnancy?
No matter how you slice it, I was the new mother of a beautiful baby girl. What had I gotten myself into?
I love having a daughter. Luckily I have the benefit of mothering both a daughter and a son, so I can enjoy both worlds. Having a daughter has ignited the internal debate between my girly side and my tomboy side. I love when Mason wears dresses, wants to paint her nails, walks around in my dress shoes…. But I also love watching her play soccer (It’s still a struggle to actually get her to play soccer at soccer practice, but a tomboy mother can dream, can’t she?), wrestle with her daddy, play in the rain, climb around at the playground…. We can watch girly movies together while we paint our nails, and we can… Ummm… Gosh, what tomboy things do we do together? I can’t think of any offhand. I guess we know who won that internal debate!
In the past several months, though, the mother-daughter relationship has been a tempestuous one. One minute she’s loving me like no one else can, and the next she’s hitting and screaming at me for trying to help brush her teeth. It’s rough, and she’s only three! I tell Jeremy that we will not make it through the teenage years if this keeps up.
Then I think of my mom and my relationship with her. I can’t remember how my relationship was with her when I was three. I do remember some big fights during the teenage years, but it’s hard to decipher if they were related to being a teenage girl or being a teenage girl whose father had unexpectedly died or being a teenage girl who had just moved across the country. I do know that my mom has had a good chuckle hearing stories about my relationship with Mason. I even think the words, “Payback” might have been uttered while she intently listened to my problems. In the end, though, I don’t mind. I have a great relationship with my mom, and only hope that Mason and I have the same when she gets older. I know it will be rough at some points, but I wouldn’t trade all the fights and disagreements for the amount of love Mason gives me and the pride I have in her.
This morning she and her classmates held a Mothers Day Breakfast at school. They sang us songs, fed us, gave us presents. It was wonderful. At one point, they were supposed to stand up and say what they wanted to be when they grow up. (I was expecting Mason to say a Mommy, based on the first Mothers and Daughters post.) The kids ahead of her said they wanted to be a mermaid, a princess, a firefighter, a pirate, and a sailor. Mason said… wait for it…. DOCTOR! And I have it on video, so I’m going to hold her to it!
I think this girl will surprise and amaze me every day.
And you know what? I can’t wait!